Tag: wedding

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Hopefulness

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What do you see when you look at this picture? A young groom and a minister watch as the bride walked down the aisle. It was a lovely day in June. In spite of a pandemic the small group that gathered for this occasion was filled with joy.

A picture is worth a thousand words, isn’t it? I see prayers fulfilled. It turns out this precious groom, Gabriel Paxton Smith, is the young man I started praying for 24 years ago. I look back at the things I prayed for my daughter’s husband to be and Gabe is every bit of that and more! Given that their wedding occurred in the middle of a pandemic and racial crisis, I feel that their marriage will be used to bring healing and restoration in their generation. 

I see hope. The bride and groom are filled with hope when they dream about their future. They vowed to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.

But I see prayer fulfilled in our minister, the Reverend Eriq K Truitt-Reed as well. I’ve prayed for greater inclusion in the diversity of our spiritual leaders. Eriq is a spirit-filled leader and minister to me. I look to him as a model of one who has suffered racism and yet lives from honor. I grew up hearing “Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood” from MLK’s “I have a Dream” speech. My children grew up reading from “Martin’s Big Words” by Doreen Rappaport of how one day little black boys and black girls will join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers. I’ve been praying not only for our nation, but also our community and family to cherish people around us, honoring our differences and welcoming deep friendships. Eriq reminds me that my life is better because of that solid rock of brotherhood.

My friends, this is just one little picture from one little backyard, but it speaks hope to me. It speaks honor, love, and righteousness. I’ve heard testimony recently that pictures and articles telling beautiful stories of reconciliation are being suppressed from social media. Good and hopeful stories are buried so that you can’t see them. Share this story. More importantly, keep building a culture around you of honor, love, and compassion. Pray for the future you want to see—in future sons-in-law as well as a brotherhood and sisterhood filling our lives with beautiful diversity. Pray for justice in our country; love in our homes.

“Righteousness and justice are the foundation of God’s throne; Lovingkindness and truth go before You.” Psalms 89:14

Go to MargaretAllen.org to sign up to receive this blog in your email each week or to purchase the book, Gracious Living, Creating a culture of honor, love, and compassion. 

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Power in Community

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I think I’ve been doing it all wrong. I’m an independent woman. I try not to inconvenience anyone. I carry my own weight. It’s all good until it’s not.  Sometimes my independence shields me from connection and vulnerability. I’m afraid to trust people to come through for me. Sometimes I limit my life to what I can accomplish rather than open myself up to greater possibilities.

Women I barely know came through for me this weekend. If I remained the independent woman as I hosted a backyard wedding for my daughter it would have looked like a hillbilly affair with lawn chairs and poppin’ open a cold one! Instead, wonderfully talented gals came and created beautiful spaces.  The flowers were prettier than any I’ve ever seen–Anywhere. Sheree, you are an artist! A huge display of pictures of the bride and groom were artfully hung with cute ribbons and hummingbird cutouts and sweet little flowered twine. Anne, I don’t ever want to take it down! A woman from our high school heard that we needed a speaker and mic at the last minute and she drove an hour to deliver it to our house. Who does that?! Chrissy, I’m humbled by your generosity.

Every now and then, the Bible states something so plainly it makes you smile. I could probably write the first three words of this scripture and you would be able to finish it: “Two are better…” Do you know it? “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10) No duh, right?

At first glance this scripture is so basic it makes us smile. But then we realize the foundational beauty of it. People frequently resort to independence and isolation. Yet, at our core, we all understand that two are better than one. We need each other! In the New Testament we are instructed to “bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) Fulfilling the law of Christ means living out His life of love toward others.

Yes, it is humbling to receive help. And yet beautiful and encouraging as well.  How many of us here in Silicon Valley long to know that we are not alone, that someone has our back? Who warms your community, my friend? Are there areas of your life where you would welcome some help? What are ways you can come alongside others?  We are better together. Let’s get off this independent track and love one another!

If creating a culture of honor is important to you right now, go to http://www.MargaretAllen.org to buy my book, Gracious Living: Creating a culture of honor, love, and compassion. Read it on your own or go through it with a group of friends, using the discussion questions at the end of each chapter.

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Sent

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It seems like two days ago I was buckling my four precious kiddos into their seats in the tan minivan. This week the oldest is getting married and the youngest is graduating from high school. My sentimental feelings are wildly juxtaposed with feelings of sadness over our country’s systemic racism. Our family conversations have careened from George Floyd’s murder to decorating the wedding cake. And who the hell has time for Coronavirus right now?

My dad worked at M.D. Anderson hospital in the 1960’s. I remember asking him about racism back then. It turns out that M.D. Anderson had segregated bathrooms and water fountains in the ‘60’s. Being from the North, he was not familiar with these practices. My dad said he was reprimanded when he went into the “Black” bathroom or drank from a “colored only” water fountain. He told me, “As scientists, we thought it was ridiculous. We knew that under a microscope everyone’s blood looks the same.” Cautiously, I asked him what he did about it. I’ll never forget his answer: “I was working on my PhD. We were newly married and starting our family. Our life was so busy. I didn’t do anything about it. I was just living my life.” Sigh.

Am I really any different? I read works of black authors, support black businesses, push for diversity in my small circles of influence, but these are small gestures. And they cost me nothing. Again, deep sigh. In the midst of graduations and planning a backyard wedding, a new resolve has awakened in my heart to do better, to be more curious, more thoughtful, more honoring.

We watched the Netflix documentary 13th last night. I recommend it. If you have never heard Bryan Stevenson, check out his insightful Ted talk: “We need to talk about an Injustice” These are great starting points for discussion. We all have much listening and learning to do.

Hope came to me in a surprising way this week. With all these emotions swirling around me, of course I turned to scripture to find some insight. I looked and prayed and looked some more. Nothing stood out until I came across Psalms 127:4 “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.” An arrow only fulfills its purpose when it is SENT. Each one of us as a child of God are sent into the world for a purpose. I have sent my children out as arrows—to fight injustice and oppression and to bring healing and light. Be a SENT one this week my friend. Create a culture of honor, love, compassion, and justice.

Go to MargaretAllen.org to buy my book, Gracious Living, Creating a culture of honor, love, and compassion. If you prefer an E version, go to Amazon or Barnes&Noble.