Tag: gracious

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Thanksgiving

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Hosting a Thanksgiving gathering is more about the atmosphere than the applesauce. Don’t worry about fancy centerpieces or perfect food. Create an honoring environment to ensure a memorable day. Here are five tips for hosting your group. These are the ideas and actions I carry into a holiday week to engage in meaningful experiences for myself and everyone involved. No matter who is gathered around your table or on Zoom, these points help create a beautiful time!

  1. Celebrate our wins. Celebrate each person and how God has brought them this far. Celebrate what your family has overcome. Truly take a full account of the good in your world. Rather than being the low-key family that just keeps plugging along, take time to savor, cherish, and celebrate what each one has accomplished. “Those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.” (Isaiah 40:31) Some of us are soaring above it all; others are running, and some are barely walking. For every situation, celebrate the ways God is supplying strength!
  2. Grieve our losses. Many of us have come from families that never acknowledge the hard times, the wounds, the losses. But being vulnerable and honest about what didn’t go right this year is ironically a wonderful way to draw closer.  Create a safe space for each person to share what they are grieving in this time. Some hurts and losses can’t be fixed, but acknowledging them may bring healing. “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)
  3. Welcome God to our party! Even Christian families struggle to embrace a spiritual element in their holiday time. Either the wine starts flowing too early or the football game is so loud or the rush to get the perfect meal to the table takes over. We must create the margin somewhere in this day to welcome God into our hearts and minds, as well as our conversations. “O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.” (Psalms 34:3)
  4. Look in the mirror. Seriously though, I’ve gone an entire Thanksgiving Day where I never once glanced in a mirror. No one really knows how much us moms work to make the details run smoothly, so I look myself in the eye and say, Maggie you did a great job! You planned and prepared a beautiful meal, you loved people well, you created a gracious family culture and a legacy for others to continue. Girl, I’m proud of you. And I smile. Then I probably run into the kitchen to frantically get stuff out of the oven but that’s ok. I had my moment.
  5. Keep the main thing the main thing. I don’t care if someone is acting horribly or if our team loses or if the election actually was rigged. This is a holiday. Take a break from the drama and savor the goodness of God in your world. Look people in the eye and tell them how precious they are to you. I’ve never regretted a moment I spent loving God or loving people. “This one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14)

 Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends! If you read this blog on FB, let me know which points you are implementing! If you haven’t gotten your copy yet, you can find my book Gracious Living, creating a culture of honor, love, and compassion anywhere books are sold.

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What is Faith?

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I caught myself several times this week praying almost absentmindedly, O Lord, what is Your way in all of this? I want the eyes of my heart to be fixed on Jesus, which means I frequently have to turn my gaze from media and the ways of man. Years ago, I met a lovely woman from Ukraine at a party. I asked her what differences she saw between the U.S. and Russia. She said, “In Russia we all knew that the news was full of propaganda. But in the U.S. people don’t seem to understand that–they think their news is true!”

Curiosity is a core value in my life. I try to walk in a peaceful, loving posture. But I need faith to live this life, don’t you? We all want to live our lives from a position of peace, love, and godly wisdom. We don’t want to just swallow what we are told so we use critical thinking. But there are spiritual dimensions to this life that worldly wisdom cannot fathom.

So, when my prayer returns over and over to Lord strengthen my faith, I think of Faith’s Hall of Fame in Hebrews 11 and 12. These are wonderful chapters to study this week. “Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6.

Faith looks like reward. When we diligently seek the face of the Lord, we are rewarded. We win His presence and peace, His instruction and revelation. Come on, it’s not even fair the inner reservoir we live from, because of Christ. All else pales in comparison to this.

Faith looks like rest. Faith trusts that even though we have no idea how it’s all gonna work out (fill in the blank here—pay our rent, fix our marriage, get healthy, heal our nation, and so on) we know that God sees and rewards with His goodness, favor, and most importantly His presence.

Faith looks like power. Hebrews describes the impact of faith in God’s people as,”…they through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of invaders.” Hebrews 11:33-34

Do we believe the goodness of God in our life? That is faith. We are exhorted to “run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2   If we can fix our eyes on Jesus and run with endurance no matter what is set before us, then we can experience the reward, the rest, and the power of life lived in Christ.

Be sure to check out www.MargaretAllen.org if you want to sign up to receive this blog each week in your email.  My book Gracious Living is available anywhere books are sold.

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Treasure

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During a recent trip to see my daughter, we visited with a young woman I mentored years ago who is now a spiritual big sis to my daughter. The three of us enjoyed a fun dinner night out in LA together. Our lively conversation reminded me of the joy that overflows from a mentoring relationship. 

In my book, Gracious Living, a chapter is dedicated to the importance of mentoring. I’d like to share a story from it: “I was reading 2 Kings 7 recently and came across the story of four lepers suffering in the time of famine. They concluded they would die where they were, so they might as well risk going to the enemy camp of the Arameans who might spare them.

“As the lepers entered the enemy camp, they discovered empty tents and abandoned horses.  Scripture tells us, ‘When these lepers came to the outskirts of the camp, they entered one tent and ate and drank, and carried from there silver and gold and clothes, and went and hid them; and they returned and entered another tent and carried from there also, and went and hid them’ (2 Kings 7:8). Reading this, I quickly sensed a summons in my spirit: This is what the women in your generation have done, Margaret! They have eaten and drunk of My goodness and gathered treasures of Mine but have hidden them.

“Talk about a head thump! Whether through insecurity or selfishness, my generation of women has journeyed intimately with Christ but hidden those treasures. What a loss! The four lepers in 2 Kings finally came to their senses. ‘We are not doing right. This day is a day of good news, but we are keeping silent…let us go and tell.’ (2 Kings 7:9)

“It’s time for us to come to our senses too. I believe a movement is rising for mature women to invest in younger generations and to mentor these women into spiritual maturity. It’s time for us to go and tell! We possess a treasure map leading to riches in Christ, and we must share it.” (Gracious Living, pp. 164-165)

In these crazy Covid days, many people hunger for community and discipleship. I have never regretted investing in someone’s walk with God. And sometimes, that person then grows up to mentor and inspire our own children—oh my goodness!  Such joy. Who is investing in your spiritual life, dear friend? And how are you coming alongside other believers? Your life is a treasure to share.

Join the many groups of women going through my book Gracious Living together. You can find it at www.MargaretAllen.org or anywhere that books are sold.

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Shifting the Atmosphere

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Wisdom writings in the Bible said: “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to throw away.” (Ecclesiastes 3) I’ve been reflecting on what brings joy in life and what doesn’t. It’s easy to get stuck in patterns that aren’t helpful or healthy. Us moms often have a finger on the pulse of our homes: are people tired, frustrated, bored? Are we in a slump of watching TV every night or retreating to our own rooms? Maybe we are already anticipating what Thanksgiving will be like with family this year. Now is the time to evaluate how we are doing and make mid-course adjustments. We can introduce change in thoughtful and fun ways. Does our family need nurturing or change right now? Here are five easy and inexpensive hacks to shift our home atmosphere this week:

  1.  Get outside. Even if it’s just going for a walk in your neighborhood or playing games in the front yard, it feels good to get outside and move around. If you have more time available, hike the nearby mountains, enjoy the sunset, or play at a park or beach. We all need a change of scenery. Simply discover the space that speaks to you. Ahh, fresh air!
  2. Serve somebody. Our lives are meant for higher purpose and nothing feels better than to serve others. Bake cookies for a neighbor, volunteer at a family shelter, babysit for a single mom. We all are seeking connection in this difficult time. Volunteer opportunities abound and, as much as you can make service decisions a group effort, you will witness your family’s heart light up with meaning.
  3. Set boundaries on your time. Now that we are working from home and living at work, we need structure. Note your work schedule, technology use, time sitting vs. active and so on. Design a weekly schedule that creates the life you long for. Does your time allow for relationships, creativity, exercise, great food, music, and gratitude? Setting mindful boundaries gives us space to savor the good things in life! 
  4. Create a Spiritual Climate. How can we withstand the negativity in our culture right now if our families have no shared spiritual experiences? Let your kids hear you pray, worship, read scripture. Discuss what God is doing in your lives. Read a few scriptures together after dinner each night. It is never too late or too early to establish a godly culture within your home.
  5. Learn together. If this entire year is just one big time-out, we might as well learn something! Kids love learning alongside their parents. Watch YouTube videos to master juggling, or how to paint a landscape like Bob Ross, cook Thai cuisine, design 2020 T-shirts for your family, and so on.  We all have something we wish we could improve if we only had the time. 

To everything there is a season. What’s working for you? Go to www.MargaretAllen.org for declarations to speak over your life and to get the book, Gracious Living, creating a culture of honor, love, and compassion.

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What is Essential?

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Our lives have been reduced in the last six months. Besides the closing of many small businesses, movie theaters, and salons, here in Silicon Valley, churches are online or extremely limited in-person capacity. Have you missed gathering?  I’ve been to three in-person church services over the past month. They were unique settings in different cities but they had one common denominator.

We looked up a church to attend while traveling in Idaho. “Let’s try something different,” I told my family. We chose a small Pentecostal church. Arriving, we realized it was PENTECOSTAL, as women wore dresses, no makeup, and some wore little doily head coverings. Instantly I regretted my bright red lipstick. Our family grinned at each other, rolled our eyes a bit, and expected little from this odd group of people. “Man looks on the outside, but God looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) Guilty here! The worship was sincere and pure. The message was genuine, thoughtful, and Christ-centered. We were surprised and refreshed.

The next service we attended was a mountain chapel in Twain Harte, California. I had been invited to preach and to bring my book, Gracious Living. It felt so good to worship at church together. I was pretty certain about the message God had put on my heart and could see the chord it struck in people by their heart-felt responses. I felt fully alive!

The third service was a Wednesday night women’s meeting in South San Jose. A rockin’ worship band played and we sang our guts out (not easy to do as we all wore masks). The sermon was an interview of mother and daughter pairs discussing their relationship with each other. They shared with honesty and raw vulnerability. It was inspiring and also informative.

The differences within these meetings were profound: we were white, black, and brown. Democrat and Republican. Rich and dangerously poor. Solid Christian families alongside many from very broken backgrounds. Pentecostal to charismatic to evangelical. The common denominator? Jesus in the room! Being fully present with people and God. Tears. Many cried at these meetings, encountering the pure love of God through Christ. We experienced His speaking voice in our hearts. We shared our stories and discovered we all have hurts in this life, but Jesus brings restoration. My friend, worshipping together with Jesus is the real deal!

“The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I have hope in Him. The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him.” (Lamentations 3:24-25) 

“and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together.” (Hebrews 10:25) 

Is church essential in your life? For me, these three services were some of the most genuine, transcendent moments of my month. What’s happening in your walk with God these days? Are you gathering in-person to worship? Are you feeling connected to God and people or are there adjustments to make? I would love to hear about your journey.

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Give God Praise

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My worry list is long enough. I have to set it down and focus elsewhere. I started listing all the ways I could give God praise and I’ll tell you what, I had to shout!  Has God been good to you? Has He provided a way when there was no way? Has He repaired a breech, a broken place, that you thought would never get straight? Has He comforted you in your worry or fear?  Oh my goodness, let me just list a few ways I’ve seen His love displayed recently.

When I struggle with insecurity He answers with encouragement. I begin doubting the impact of my book and God graciously sends an encourager. Women I don’t even know have messaged me to say how my words inspired them. Just this week a young mom sent me this note (I share with her permission): “I’m on chapter 4 of your book and I can already say this is exactly what I needed to read at this time in my life.  I had been feeling the need to be a light and share more love and peace in this world and your book inspires me and shares all the ways I can do this.  It is a life changing way—a godly way—and I love it!” She concluded, “I thought I should share with you that your book moves me towards humanity and God.” Do you think God nudged her to share this on the very day I needed to hear it? He doesn’t have to encourage me this way; it is His goodness to do so.

My daughter has been looking for a job. She wasn’t certain about the direction to take with her career. She was prayerful in the process and sought out all kinds of good advice. Can I just give God praise right now? He didn’t have to, but I totally sense God’s hand in the direction she has taken. After a month of interviewing she got a great offer, and not for just a job but a career. He was watching over her entire process with kindness and provision.

Another daughter is working remotely. Her heart’s desire was to work from LA near her college friends while she could. It touched this mamma heart to see her pray about this hope and have opportunity after opportunity fall through. Just when she had pretty much given up on that dream, an email came inviting her to join a group of awesome Christian women in an apartment one block from the beach!

Even in our struggles, our lives are a showcase for God’s goodness! He loves to bless and encourage His children. We may battle doubts, insecurities, uncertainties, or just unmet dreams, but God is faithful to care. He is faithful to provide and protect. He makes a way where there is no way! God reassures us in scripture: “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

These are just a few of the ways God has been good to me recently – how has God been good to you? If your immediate reaction is, well He hasn’t, I encourage you to look at your life with a different lens. Where has He helped you, protected you, provided for you? His goodness is waiting to be discovered.

Find my book, Gracious Living, creating a culture of honor, love, and compassion anywhere books are sold.

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Need a Break? Pt. 2

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Is the Sabbath relevant to Christians today? We ask the question like it is some bitter pill we must swallow, while the world outside is literally tripping over itself to market concepts of rest, self-care, mindfulness, gratitude, laughter therapy and other such shadows.

Christians, come on—let’s enjoy our beautiful heritage! From the very creation of the earth God modeled a Sabbath rest. Jesus said the Sabbath was made FOR us. (Mark 2:27) This gift of rest includes two facets: to stop working and to draw near in relationship to God. One day a week stop working! This requires faith though. How will we stay competitive if we take a day off? Our fear about performance roots into our identity whether a farmer, a Silicon Valley techie, or a minister. Few Christian businesses take this bold approach to obedience. Few individuals enjoy a truly restful, spiritual respite in their week.

My friend Shinae and her husband were compelled to build the rhythm of a weekly Sabbath into their young family after hearing a message on creating margin. She shared, “The Holy Spirit deeply touched our hearts about taking a full day off and relaxing spiritually, mentally, and physically on the Sabbath. Rather than doing our work and schoolwork on Sundays we finish by Saturday night. On Sunday we go to church, spend family time together hiking and biking. We invite friends over, read, and so on.” She ended with this, “I truly believe that taking a full Sabbath makes our family’s life more abundant and enjoyable.” 

One day in seven we design to look like heaven. Go ahead, imagine heaven and make your Sabbath mirror it– joy, peacefulness, childlike hope, laughter and wonder in the glorious presence of Christ the King. The believer’s rest includes a rest from strivings, a rest from fear, rest from working out a righteousness of your own, a rest from sorrow. As we place a boundary around this focused time, ask: Is our heart softened to hear God’s voice?  Are we positioned to receive from God Almighty? Can we offer Him the praise and honor due His Name? We set a boundary around our Sabbath to think higher, dream bigger, love more deeply, and find our stride with God.

“It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; to declare Your lovingkindness in the morning, and Your faithfulness every night…” (Psalm 92, A song for the Sabbath day.)

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If you need resources on how to walk closely with God, check out my book Gracious Living, creating a culture of honor, love, and compassion. It can be found anywhere books are sold, or at http://www.MargaretAllen.org.

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#RIPRBG

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You don’t have to always agree on her stance to appreciate her impact on our country, especially for women. Ruth Bader Ginsberg said, “Real change, enduring change, happens one step at a time.” Her opinions gave voice to women in our country deserving equal rights along with equal opportunities. 

I know I don’t usually talk politics but may I share what RBG represents to me? Included in my book, Gracious Living, creating a culture of honor, love, and compassion, is a story about a college student who said she couldn’t be friends with someone who believed there should be a wall. “I burst out laughing. ‘That’s bull, I said. Look at Supreme Court Justices Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Antonin Scalia! They couldn’t have been farther apart in their political views, and yet they were lifelong friends who enjoyed family vacations together. You couldn’t be friends with someone with a different view on how to run the country? Do you realize how narrow-minded and petty that view is?” (p.55) Surely, we can be bigger than this.

David French summed it up for me in his recent tweet, “I hope and pray that the passings of Justice Scalia and now Justice Ginsburg don’t also herald the end of an era they modeled in their own relationship – when deep friendship could flourish across profound disagreements.” RBG represented strong belief coupled with a gracious lifestyle.

I know how difficult it is when our political views are bound with what we consider morally true. Many of us feel we are defending the moral rights of humanity with our politics. RBG gripped impassioned morals in her political stance and yet she didn’t allow it to be a defense for isolationism or hostility.  I question a sense of morality that promotes behavior contrary to basic human kindness.  

The Psalmist wrote, “My soul has dwelt too long with one who hates peace. I am for peace; But when I speak, they are for war.” (Psalm 120:6,7) We are entering a contentious season for our country. Are you for peace, dear Christian? Are you a person of peace? (The Hebrew word for peace is shalom, meaning wholeness, peace, harmony, wellbeing) Or are you for war- for discord, variance, strife, and quarreling? Are you bent on continual hostility? I know kind and gracious Christians who contort into angry, snarling beasts on Facebook.

In this election season, I am committed to RBG-style “deep friendship that flourishes across profound disagreements.” No matter which side of the aisle, I am bound to the human right and dignity of every person I encounter. I am creating cultures all around me—in my home, my church, the grocery store, work, and social media—full of honor, love, and compassion. How are you creating a loving environment in your circles of influence? Please share your methods of bringing peaceful, healthy discourse.

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You can find my book, Gracious Living, at www.margaretallen.org or anywhere books are sold. 

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Need a Break?

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I don’t mind working from home, it’s living at work that wears me out! Are you just done? Over it? Needing an infusion of creativity, energy, and vision? I know of something that helps, but my answer may surprise you. This is a habit that productivity consultants and the Bible agree on.

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of the Lord your God…For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day; therefore, the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” (The Ten Commandments in Exodus 20)

Before our mind races to an image of people huddled around their Bible by candlelight, consider what it could look like for us to take a Sabbath. In my book, Gracious Living, I describe a process: “My husband and I made small changes in habits and reaped the family benefits of this gift of the Sabbath. We purposed to make Sunday a restful day. That meant the tiny changes of finishing all the laundry by Saturday, choosing not to get online or watch television, and instead having family night where we played games, worshipped, and had devotions. Andy and I used to laugh that we couldn’t buy a nap on Sundays, but we sure tried!” I’ll add that we also skipped dinner on Sunday evenings as a way to lessen the work load while also modeling prayer and fasting to our children.

Dear Parents, if our kids are doing school online all week, they need a break from technology. How can we possibly develop a healthy family culture if we are never all together in an undistracted environment? “Those Sabbath days we not only modeled how to listen to God and enjoy His nearness, but also how to listen to each other and enjoy each other’s friendship.  It trained each of us to live in a mindful, restful, reflective rhythm each week. It gave us permission to pull out of frantic busyness and breathe. Embracing the grace and rest of a weekly Sabbath filled us with the energy to give others grace throughout the week.” (From Gracious Living, p. 96) Not only is our personal life energized by this day set apart, but also our professional life. Productivity experts advise executives to take a day with no texts, emails, or work calls to evaluate the big picture, birds-eye view of life.

As working from home and living at work have blurred any sense of normalcy, setting up a boundary like a Sabbath will actually increase our creativity and zest for life. Interestingly, Jesus said “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.” (Mark 2:27-28) This boundary was designed by God FOR us. Jesus described the Sabbath as a gift to help us rest and savor life. It is not meant to be a rigid ruleset that confines our activities. Rest is a good thing. Reflection and mindful living are good things! Consider enjoying a Sabbath this month and record what you discover.

I would love to hear how you have created a pattern of rest in your life. Does anyone else follow a Sabbath? Let us hear from you! Share any habits that have worked for you and your family.

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I talk about ways to walk closely with God in my book, Gracious Living, creating a culture of honor, love, and compassion. It is available anywhere books are sold. http://www.margaretallen.org

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God’s Thumbprint

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In what feels like day 666 of this stupid year I am searching for hope and direction. I wonder how to reflect the love of God in this climate. I ask myself, am I truly changed by Christ; do I look like Him? Now I want to touch a deeper truth, so hang in with me! God showed me something so darn cool. 

 He brought to mind a seed. A seed contains the complete imprint of what it produces. In one tiny apple seed lies all the genetic and cellular information needed to produce an apple tree. Nothing needs to be added to that imprint of a seed other than favorable conditions of water, soil, and sunlight.

Now consider this:

1 Peter 1:23 “For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.” I am reeling from the implications of this truth. Add to it John’s words:

John 1:12,13 “He gave the right to become the children of God to those who believed in His name; who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.” It’s like we carry the thumbprint of God in our heart!

We are born of imperishable seed. We are born again not by the will of flesh but by the will of God. When we said yes to Jesus Christ, we were born again to become a brand new being. In that seed contains the complete imprint of who God designed us to be! Our part is to partner with the process by choosing favorable conditions to life. We can choose to spend time in the Word, prayer, and service.  We can partner with honor, love, and compassion. His life has been planted in every believer. No matter our highs and lows, closeness or distance with God or people- we bear His image because we are born again, not of perishable or corruptible seed. God was actually delighted to bring us into this new relationship of being His children.  He is excited to lead us to fulfill our destiny, not of our own effort, but by partnering with the treasure He has already planted in us. This is great news.

My friend, do you wrestle with doubts about your spiritual growth? Do you question how you reflect His life? I would love to hear how this picture of being born of His seed is transforming for you. It may feel like day six-hundred of this year, but we can learn to rest in God’s goodness. We can trust His gracious design.

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Have you gotten your copy of Gracious Living, creating a culture of honor, love, and compassion? Get it today on Amazon or http://www.MargaretAllen.org